Don’t worry, this isn’t Nancy Regan’s anti drug campaign from the 80’s, although that message is still good advice today.  Instead, I’ve provided a current insight on the power of saying “no”.  If you’re a people pleaser, or think you want to be one, this lesson will challenge you!

I was recently acknowledged by a respected colleague for my ability to say “no.”  Many self employed business owners want to do whatever we can to accommodate others when they ask for a favor, or want us to join a committee, lead a board, give a presentation, etc.  However, saying yes to those things when you don’t have the time or energy to adequately devote to them can do more harm than good.

I’d rather politely decline so that I don’t over-extend myself, than say yes and risk tarnishing my good brand by doing a so-so or poor job.

My objective is to honor all my existing commitments, while leaving enough margin for unexpected interruptions or delays and sufficient down time.

Key Questions:

To make sure you aren’t taking on too much and diluting your effectiveness, ask yourself these questions:

1. Does this opportunity fit with my skills, target market, and/or core values? 

2.  Do I have sufficient time, energy, and resources available to meet the requirements of the request, without sacrificing quality? 

3.  Is there someone else available who could do a better job of honoring this request than me? 

4.  Do I really want to do this? Do I feel called to do this?

If I can’t answer “yes” to all four questions, then I say “no” to the opportunity.  There are numerous opportunities to distract me, drain me, motivate me, amuse me, and annoy me.  Some of the opportunities are dressed up as really good things, but the book Good to Great by Jim Collins reminds us not to let the good distract us from becoming Great. Whether we’re considering taking time to do a favor for someone, or embark on a business opportunity, pursue a spiritual endeavor, or agree to a volunteer commitment, we really should make sure that all 4 points above can be answered yes.  If not, we should say no.

Illustrations:

You may be wondering, “what harm could it do if I said yes to these good opportunities?”    The following consequences come to mind, and I’m sure we could come up with many more if we tried:

• Let’s say you agree to speak for a civic group because a friend asked, but it requires you to be there at 7am when you normally drive your child to school at 7:30am.  Do you assign someone else to drive your child, or do you cancel the speaking opportunity the day before because you forgot about driving your child to school?  If you cancel last minute, it leaves the group hanging and you get classified as someone they can’t count on.  If you tell your spouse at 6:45am that he/she needs to drive little Johnny to school, you may create problems at home.

• You agree to sit on a board for a worthy cause, simply because they asked.  You don’t really have the time to attend all the meetings, but you show up on occasion if other things don’t pop up in your schedule.  Are you helping the cause?  Not really.  Are you hurting your reputation?  Most definitely.

• Your friends talk you into going to the bar after work, when you have a 7am presentation the next morning.  You can probably see where this one is going….

A New Perspective on “No”

None of these “opportunities” seemed like a bad thing, but it’s really all about choices and priorities.  Saying “no” to the non-priorities, frees us up to say “yes” to the things we are meant to pursue.   Derek Siver’s book, “Anything you want” really speaks to this point.  He has an awesome filter, which I’ve started to adopt myself.  When presented with a choice, such as an event to attend, an item to purchase, or time to invest, he asks himself, “do I really want to do this?”  If his answer isn’t an enthusiastic  “Hell Yeah!,”  he declines the opportunity.

Those of us who are self employed have to be very cautious and prudent with our time.  It is a precious resource, along our financial resources, and our skills/talents.  It’s easy to say “yes” because we want everyone to like us and think of us often, but he who says “yes” to everyone pleases no one.

Think about these 4 questions and Derek Siver’s “filter” next time you are presented with an opportunity.  If it doesn’t fit within your priorities, just say no!

Discussion Points:

• Share an example of a time you overcommitted yourself.  How did it turn out?
• Share an example of a time you declined an opportunity because your plate was already full.  How did it turn out?
• We train others how to treat us, by how we respond to their requests.  If you answer every email or phone call within minutes of receipt, no matter what time of day or night they arrive, you let others know you are available at all times.  While this is great if you have no other distractions, obligations, or a need for a life, it can’t be sustained for long.  People want to know they can rely on you, so you need to be consistent in your availability.  If you answer immediately in one instance and days later in another, people never really know if or when they can count on you.  Has this situation occurred in your life?  If so, how did you handle it? 

Jennifer M. Harvey, Estate Planning Attorney

By: Lori T. Williams, Owner/Managing Attorney of Your Legal Resource, PLLC

The saying goes, “People don’t plan to fail, they just fail to plan”.  Estate planning is something many of us have a tendency to put off.  Attorney Jennifer Harvey shares some tips on what you need to consider as a business owner, when planning for your estate.

Jennifer began her legal career as outside legal counsel for Ford Motor Credit Company, handling business contracts, litigation, and estate planning.  She decided to create her own practice to help small business owners protect their families in the event of death or incapacity, and to protect their business from liability. Her company slogan is “taking care of you and your family when you can’t.”

Jennifer, why is it important to utilize the services of an estate planning attorney rather than other resources when it comes to estate planning?

Much of what I do involves making sure that our clients are properly informed about their estate planning options.  I often hear about and experience people who have put their trust in internet resources that are inaccurate and do not speak to their situation.  Estate planning and probate law differs from state to state.  Also, it is difficult for an internet researcher to know who actually drafted an internet article or when it was written.  It is important for each person to find the right attorney who specializes in the area of the law that they need and have candid and thorough discussions with him or her to achieve the client’s goals.

Are there any pressing legal issues to consider in the area of Estate Planning?

Yes, two hot topics come to mind:

(a)    The deed beats the Will! 

In estate planning, the deed always beats the Last Will and Testament – that is, if the deed states that a second person is a co-owner with the client or listed as a beneficiary on the deed, the deed controls which beneficiary receives the property at the client’s death.  If the client set up a Will that contradicts the deed, the Will loses and the deed wins.  It is important for an estate planning attorney to make sure that each client’s deeds cooperate with and achieve the goals of each client’s estate plan.  I can’t tell you how many times I have had to probate an estate just because of poor planning.  Probate and results contrary to what a client wants can be avoided by diligent planning.

(b)   Short sales for a decedent’s real estate.

Due to the current real estate market, I often help clients whose parents died and left a house or condo where the mortgage is greater than the value of the property.  Sadly, family members are often denied the opportunity to buy the home in a short sale from the bank because such a sale is considered by the bank to not be “an arm’s length transaction.”  Sometimes families are faced with whether to use money from a deceased parent to pay off the mortgage or let the home go into foreclosure.  There are both financial and emotional issues to contend with, especially if there are many sibling beneficiaries involved.  I highly recommend that people in this situation seek the advice of a qualified attorney to learn about and weigh their options in this situation.

Since it’s the New Year, what planning tips might you offer business owners to get their affairs in order?

(a)    If you’ve never done estate planning, the time to begin is Now!

If you had an estate plan at one time, find your old plan and legal documents for household and your business and determine the following things:

How long has it been since they were updated?

Has your business or family grown or changed since the documents were prepared?

What else has happened in your life, the lives of your loved ones, or the lives of your business colleagues since those documents were prepared?

If there have been changes, review the documents with a qualified estate planning attorney.

Get the appointment on the calendar, don’t put it off any longer.

(b)   Talk to your parents and elderly relatives about their estate planning.

I find that a good way to make conversation about this is to discuss what happens when celebrities pass away without proper planning – we can learn much from the errors of Michael Jackson, Princess Diana and Sonny Bono.

(c)    Talk to your friends, relatives, neighbors and co-workers who have children under the age of 18 to ensure that they have guardians named for their kids in the event that they die.

We wouldn’t let our kids stay with just any babysitter; so much more important is who would act as their guardian in the event of death.  It is important to choose who the guardian would be, and have the right lawyer put your wishes in place. Don’t leave this important decision up to a probate judge!

If someone has a special needs child, regardless of age, a special needs trust should be put in place to ensure that the special needs child can get an inheritance or support from their parents without losing their valuable governmental benefits.

What are some common misconceptions about estate planning?

That it takes too long, is too complex, and is too expensive.

Nothing is further from the truth, if you hire a qualified attorney to assist you.  That attorney can give you a timeline for completing the documents and handle the matter for you.

As for cost, you can talk to an attorney and know what planning will cost you upfront.  If things go wrong and there is no plan in place, it is going to be much more costly to hire a lawyer after the fact, than if you had hired one to properly plan. Rather than thinking “I can’t afford an estate plan,” business owners and heads of households should be thinking, “I can’t afford to NOT have an estate plan and my family can’t afford for me to NOT have an estate plan.”  It’s important to have these documents in place.  To avoid the tendency to procrastinate, I suggest clients commit to have them finalized within 90 days of our initial conversation, to make sure they get it done and don’t have to worry about it.

If you itemize your taxes, you can often use an estate plan for a partial write off on your taxes.  This might provide another incentive to get your affairs in order.

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Jennifer M. Harvey is the founder and managing partner of Harvey Legal Group, PLLC.  She focuses her practice in the areas of estate planning, probate and business law.  Ms. Harvey is faculty for the Institute of Continuing Legal Education (ICLE) teaching other attorneys about estate planning and estate administration.  For more information, visit her website.

Preston True, Executive Coach and Leadership Consultant

I thought it would be worthwhile to look at the steps involved in reaching goals, since some people may have abandoned their New Year’s Resolutions already. It’s never too late to set a meaningful goal, and with some focus you’ll still have time to achieve your goals this year. Business Coach, Preston True, shares his thoughts on the essentials of goal setting.

Preston, tell us a bit about your business and the type of coaching you provide to professionals

After 15 years of working with large and small organizations, I realized there really is no such thing as a business problem.  Instead, there are the challenges, roadblocks and disempowering contexts that humans bring into the workplace that disrupt profitability and organizational success.

I work with professional service providers and their teams (attorneys, CPAs, financial planners and creative firms) to create profitable businesses by helping them have more effective and powerful conversations.

How did you choose this group of people to work with?  What common challenges do they face? 

We chose one another.  I’ve found that many professional service providers have years of expertise and training in how to “do” their work, but struggle consistently to “be” effective leaders, communicators, and sales professionals – for most, these concepts were not part of the curriculum in law, accounting, IT or engineering schools.  Additionally, all of us have been highly trained in the industrial-age, production line mindset that has us design our daily operations on the “highest output for the lowest price” model where job descriptions and automation are king.  Unfortunately, this mindset decimates the two most important characteristics of business today: humanity and creativity.

What obstacles have you repeatedly encountered with your clients when it comes to goal setting and achieving goals?

Goal setting is a powerful support structure to the ongoing development of not only tangible results, but personal growth as well.  Results are almost guaranteed for clients who reliably and consistently set goals for themselves and their businesses.  However, the most common obstacle I see is actually in the goal setting itself.

It may sound crazy, but let’s go back to the production line mindset for a moment.  This mindset demands that revenue, profitability, time, units, and budget goals are paramount.  These examples of external or extrinsic goals are not bad, but if these are the only goals defined, many folks resort to taking shortcuts, cutting corners, sabotaging colleagues, overcharging customers, and doing unnecessary billable work – this is actually documented behavior (see “Drive” by Daniel Pink).  The bottom line: focusing solely on external goals frequently leads to unethical behavior.  This is NOT the way to effective leadership.  Just ask Ken Lay, Jeffrey Skilling, Bernie Madoff or Scott Rothstein.

Describe the process you coach your clients through so they can achieve their goals.  What are the essential steps?

Step 1 – Choose not more than four goals to manage at any given time.  It’s too easy to move on to “the next goal” when we bump up against the challenges in reaching our important goals.  By limiting the number of goals to four or fewer, you will be more focused on and accountable for results.

Step 2 – Understand why you want to produce the goals you say you want to produce.  Without distinguishing intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, you will fall away from your goals very quickly.

Step 3 – Write out your goal plan.  This is a must!  Goals which remain only in your mind are nothing more than wishes. I recommend using a 5-year and 12-month plan that distinguishes domains (or categories) within each goal, as most goals have several components to them.

Step 4 – Create a structure for existence regarding the actions to take.  If you don’t establish specific times in your calendar to take action on your goals, you will not meet them.  In a culture that seems to value busy-ness over accomplishment, your calendar is your best friend in fulfilling on your goals.

Step 5 – Create an accountability structure.  Hire a coach, enroll a colleague, or simply ask a friend to keep you accountable to taking regular action on your goals.  Don’t underestimate accountability… it actually creates amazing freedom.

What are some of the common misconceptions about coaching? 

I still have folks ask me if I’m a soccer coach.  Coaching has been around a very long time; it’s not the “new” thing that many see it to be, but a derivative of consulting that focuses on asking powerful questions of the client rather than having the answers.

Although the coaching industry is full of “the next new trend”, most are just a revised version of something that’s already in existence.  Coaching works because of several ancient ideas: (a) partnership, (b) accountability, and (c) communication.  Not very trendy… just stable fundamentals at work.

How can people benefit from having a coach?

We cannot see our blind spots or saboteurs.  A coach is an objective partner who’s trained to listen at a level most people will never attain.  Through this listening, powerful and moving questions are asked of the client which translates to greater awareness of behaviors and beliefs.  With greater awareness, new choices come to the surface.  When new choices come to the surface, new actions are taken.  When new actions are taken, new results happen.  Coaching is one of the most reliable and powerful support structures you can find for producing bigger results.

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Preston True is a leadership development consultant and executive coach in Royal Oak, Michigan. He works with professional service providers and their teams helping them create powerful and profitable businesses. Companies such as Mellon Smith Pivoz, Macroconnect, T-Systems and the Wm. Wrigley Jr. Company benefit from their powerful leadership development experiences with Preston. Learn more at  http://www.trueleadershipLLC.com.

Attorneys, do you want to start the New Year off on the right foot?  Do a self inventory to make sure you and your staff are not making any of these mistakes:

Mistake #1: Failure to return phone calls timely, or at all

No industry is perfect, but we’ve all heard complaints at one time or another from friends, clients, and other contacts that they can’t get a lawyer they wish to hire, or one they recently hired, to call them back.

Annemarie Cronin, Public Relations & media consultant, and owner of the Annemarie Cronin Agency, noted that “our research of family law attorneys reflected the number one complaint about lawyers was the failure to return phone calls.”  Cronin’s agency represents attorneys, doctors, banks, retail stores, and other businesses seeking to gain exposure for their business through television, radio, print and internet advertising, as well as customized marketing campaigns.

A quick review of attorney disciplinary notices, confirms that failure to timely communicate is a problem for some legal professionals.  Click here for The Michigan Lawyer’s Blog summarizing the Attorney Discipline Board Annual Report of 2010.  Cronin also noted that many of her physician clients ask her for recommendations to a good attorney, but she has been reticent to suggest anyone because she also experienced non-responsiveness from lawyers in big and small firms alike.  “It is disappointing to invest 30 min to 2 hours meeting with an attorney, explaining the problem, providing documentation, and being told you’ll hear back from the lawyer in a day or two, and then not receive a call or a letter telling you whether they are accepting or declining the work,” says Cronin.

Clients in this unfortunate situation can seek other counsel.  However, sometimes the time lost in waiting for a response is detrimental to their situation, or it is too late and they give up out of frustration.

Tip #1:  If you can’t return the client’s call in 24 hours, be sure someone else in your office does.  Alternatively, solos can respond to the client’s inquiry with an email, text, or voicemail message indicating when the lawyer is available to speak to the client.

Clients understand if you are tied up in court or are away from the office, but they deserve a timely response nonetheless.  This is common courtesy.  No one wants to be left waiting indefinitely.  If the client calls your office, hears nothing, and has to call again, that’s not helpful to the client and it is damaging to the lawyer’s reputation as a professional.  Clients seek out attorneys because they are usually in some sort of predicament that needs immediate professional help.  Every effort should be made to either return the phone calls within 24 hours or instruct a staff member to reach out to clients with specific information as to when they can expect to hear back. Thereafter, the attorney should follow through in a timely manner.   In some practice areas, such as litigation, there may be periods of time where there is no real news for the client and the case may take 2 to 3 years before there is any resolution.  As most clients have little or no idea how long a legal matter could take to run its course, it is important for the attorney to explain what the client should expect with respect to resolution and time frame.

Mistake #2:  Buying advertising without a strategy

Cronin also noted that legal professionals sometimes make the mistake of taking out a full page ad and paying  up to $7,000, hoping it will generate new business.  “I’d rather see the money being spent on something that will produce the desired results, than have them throw money away hoping someone will see their ad and call them.”  While ads can be effective, they must be part of an overall strategy and not a one-time shot.  Cronin believes in doing a needs analysis with all her clients before suggesting they spend any money at all.

Tip #2:  Plan before spending money on marketing or advertising

Some of the “old school” lawyers were used to relying on ads to drive traffic to their office, especially high volume practices such as bankruptcy, divorce, or criminal law matters.  Large law firms also frequently run ads in various publications.  Today, however, more clients are using social media, researching the internet, and finding attorneys through other means.  As the phone calls started dropping off, lawyers had to turn to other methods to generate traffic.  Having a marketing and advertising strategy is just as important as having a good marketing or advertising piece.  One ad, article, or TV spot isn’t enough to sustain any law practice.  There must be an ongoing marketing strategy in order to produce consistent new business.   Your website, newsletters, articles and blogs, referral sources, and social media profiles are all components of your marketing plan, and how well you utilize these tools will determine your level of success.

Mistake #3:   Ineffective or untrained support staff

Cronin recalled one client spending $10,000 to $15,000 on radio ads each month.  The ads were generating a lot of calls, but the firm was not converting those calls to business.  After observing how the office staff was handling the calls, Cronin immediately saw the problem.  “The office staff failed  miserably in connecting with the caller.  They put the callers on hold,  made no attempt to set up an appointment and didn’t even get the caller’s name and phone number.  Sometimes the caller hung up before the receptionist came back on the line.  Without a name and number, they couldn’t call the client back.”

Tip #3:  Whenever you are running any type of promotion, you need to have the office staff or an automated system set up to handle the call volume or email response from the potential new clients.   This should be addressed in the marketing strategy and tweaked as necessary in case the response is greater than anticipated.

Mistake #4:  Shabby appearance and rude demeanor

According to Cronin, lawyers need to carefully consider the visual appeal of the waiting room and office, as well as how long is an acceptable amount of time for a client to be left waiting in the lobby.  “I don’t advise a professional spend $5,000 to $7,000 on an ad when they really should use that money to spruce up their lobby or reception area.  The same goes for the lawyer’s office or conference room, if clients will spend any time in those areas.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen dingy upholstery, outdated furniture, and a shabby looking, cluttered office,” says Cronin.  Since you can’t undo a bad first impression, these things should be considered, especially if the professionals aren’t converting as many clients as they had hoped after the initial office consultation.

The demeanor of the office staff, as well as the professional’s demeanor, is also extremely important.  “People don’t want to be kept waiting and they don’t expect to be treated rudely or indifferently by the receptionist or front office staff,” says Cronin.  “Part of my job is to diplomatically point out all areas of the practice which need improvement.  This could range from office appearance, to professional and support staff demeanor, to their marketing and public relations options.”

Tip #4: If the Lawyer is running behind, the client should be informed in a friendly manner and asked if the anticipated wait time will be acceptable or if they need to reschedule.  The furnishings should be comfortable and pleasing to the eye.  Reading material left on the coffee table should include lifestyle, fashion and gourmet, and not limited to business and golf monthlies.  The client should be offered a beverage while waiting.  While these common courtesies are second nature to most professionals, those who don’t take heed of the small but important details lose the opportunity to make the client comfortable and set a positive tone for the first meeting.

Annemarie Cronin Agency is a full service marketing and advertising agency in Bloomfield Hills, poised to penetrate the marketplace with highly personalized marketing strategies that serve to highlight the client’s uniqueness and capture the attention of the desired audience, through the creation and use of customized websites, radio and television advertising, photo journalism, and customized ad campaigns.

I noticed a behavior pattern of mine recently that you may be able to relate to.  I’m good at managing and taking action on the urgent emails and matters I need to be doing now or later today, but I struggle with managing the flow of information I don’t need to be reading or doing now.  I’m referring to information I’d like to read at some point or action items I’d like to do at some point, but which are by no means urgent.  My “save it for later” mentality was causing my email inbox to become unmanageable (10,000 emails and growing).  I was able to clear out my email box and set myself up for future successful email management, by creating some new habits.

Here are 3 tips I’ve recently implemented which help manage my email overload and ultimately increase productivity:

1)       Create a “not reading now” folder

This folder is designed for the e-newsletters, daily news digests, and other lengthy material you want to read . . . at a later date.  I generally have one day a week where I can block out some time for reading and can quickly scan my ‘not reading now’ folder and actually read the articles that interest me and delete the rest. While some people might want to create a rule in their outlook program to have items automatically put in this folder, I like to self select what goes in there so I don’t miss anything that is important and urgent.

Having a flow of new information helps me with my own creativity as a weekly blogger, and as a consultant to professionals on how to grow their practice.  I carve out creative time, just as I carve out time to read, but neither of those activities work in the midst of deadlines, client emergencies, or other important matters or distractions.  Having a folder to move the information to allows me to focus on the urgent, without losing this other information.

2)      Create a social media invitation/event invitation folder

Lately, I’ve been receiving daily invitations from people I’ve never met or even heard of, but who are connected to other people I do know, who send me LinkedIn invitations with the category of “friend” as our level of association.  I also receive friend invitations on Facebook regularly from people I’ve never met or heard of.  To me, “friend”, in the social media world, means I’ve actually met or had a conversation with someone.  They aren’t my “friend” simply because they know someone I know.  I generally like to respond to these invitations with a standard email on Facebook or LinkedIn inviting them to have a conversation with me to determine if we have any business synergy. 9 out of 10 people don’t even respond to that offer, which tells me that they are contact collectors and not relationship focused.

Since it takes time to send the email reply to their invitation, and time to track whether or not they responded to my suggestion to schedule a call, and then time to coordinate the call, I created an email folder of those LinkedIn and Facebook invitations to keep track of it all.  That way I can respond when I have time to do so, and don’t have to clutter my inbox.

Another folder could be created for event invitations you receive, but aren’t sure you want to attend just now.  If you know you aren’t interested in the event invitation or social media connection invitation, it is easy to delete it, but those you might want to respond to later will easily get lost and forgotten in the barrage of email unless you have a folder to keep track of it. You may want to schedule a calendar occurrence to check that folder periodically, or keep it as a favorites folder in outlook so you’ll see it and tend to it in a timely manner.

3)      Create a “non-urgent meetings/phone calls to schedule” folder

If you are like me, you are introduced to people via email that other people think you should meet.  We all want to expand our networks with quality contacts.  Sometimes these email introductions arrive when you are swamped and can’t respond to them right away, or perhaps you have no idea why the person introducing you thought you should know this other person.  Are they a potential client in need of your services? Are they a potential referral source?  Are you a target for a product/service they want to sell?  I generally like to know why I’m being introduced and encourage the person doing the introducing to provide some context so I can act accordingly.  I may send them a private email asking for this.

Generally, I reply to these introduction emails the same day, within a few minutes of receiving them usually, thanking the introducer and proposing to the other person that we schedule a time to talk by phone, and learn more about one another.  This is generally a 15 to 20 minute call to find out if there’s any business synergy and if it makes sense for us to meet.  I have standard list of questions I may want to ask them, as well as potential follow up actions I could take based on their interest and fit for my services.  My menu of talking points helps me to make this short call very productive, and based on their responses, I know whether or not it makes sense to meet with this person.  However, before we get to the phone call or the meeting, we have to manage whether or not that person replies to the introductory email from our mutual friend.  I keep track of these introductions in my   ‘non-urgent meetings/phone calls to schedule’ folder, until we’ve reached the scheduled phone call or meeting phase.

Why is follow-up so important?

For me, it’s the differentiator between the serious business person who I might be able to build a relationship with, and the casual networker on a fishing expedition.  I’m not a “high volume” networker.  Although I’ve grown a sizeable network over time, I don’t want to add people for the sake of numbers, but I am always interested in more quality relationships.

If someone can’t even bother to reply to an email introducing two people with potential business synergy, that tells me they either don’t value the relationship they have with the person that introduced us, or they aren’t good at follow up.  In either case, they probably aren’t going to be a good contact for me because relationships and follow up are critical in my book!

Points to ponder and share:

What is your favorite tip for managing email overload?

What will you do differently as a result of the tips suggested in this blog?