Don’t worry, this isn’t Nancy Regan’s anti drug campaign from the 80’s, although that message is still good advice today.  Instead, I’ve provided a current insight on the power of saying “no”.  If you’re a people pleaser, or think you want to be one, this lesson will challenge you!

I was recently acknowledged by a respected colleague for my ability to say “no.”  Many self employed business owners want to do whatever we can to accommodate others when they ask for a favor, or want us to join a committee, lead a board, give a presentation, etc.  However, saying yes to those things when you don’t have the time or energy to adequately devote to them can do more harm than good.

I’d rather politely decline so that I don’t over-extend myself, than say yes and risk tarnishing my good brand by doing a so-so or poor job.

My objective is to honor all my existing commitments, while leaving enough margin for unexpected interruptions or delays and sufficient down time.

Key Questions:

To make sure you aren’t taking on too much and diluting your effectiveness, ask yourself these questions:

1. Does this opportunity fit with my skills, target market, and/or core values? 

2.  Do I have sufficient time, energy, and resources available to meet the requirements of the request, without sacrificing quality? 

3.  Is there someone else available who could do a better job of honoring this request than me? 

4.  Do I really want to do this? Do I feel called to do this?

If I can’t answer “yes” to all four questions, then I say “no” to the opportunity.  There are numerous opportunities to distract me, drain me, motivate me, amuse me, and annoy me.  Some of the opportunities are dressed up as really good things, but the book Good to Great by Jim Collins reminds us not to let the good distract us from becoming Great. Whether we’re considering taking time to do a favor for someone, or embark on a business opportunity, pursue a spiritual endeavor, or agree to a volunteer commitment, we really should make sure that all 4 points above can be answered yes.  If not, we should say no.

Illustrations:

You may be wondering, “what harm could it do if I said yes to these good opportunities?”    The following consequences come to mind, and I’m sure we could come up with many more if we tried:

• Let’s say you agree to speak for a civic group because a friend asked, but it requires you to be there at 7am when you normally drive your child to school at 7:30am.  Do you assign someone else to drive your child, or do you cancel the speaking opportunity the day before because you forgot about driving your child to school?  If you cancel last minute, it leaves the group hanging and you get classified as someone they can’t count on.  If you tell your spouse at 6:45am that he/she needs to drive little Johnny to school, you may create problems at home.

• You agree to sit on a board for a worthy cause, simply because they asked.  You don’t really have the time to attend all the meetings, but you show up on occasion if other things don’t pop up in your schedule.  Are you helping the cause?  Not really.  Are you hurting your reputation?  Most definitely.

• Your friends talk you into going to the bar after work, when you have a 7am presentation the next morning.  You can probably see where this one is going….

A New Perspective on “No”

None of these “opportunities” seemed like a bad thing, but it’s really all about choices and priorities.  Saying “no” to the non-priorities, frees us up to say “yes” to the things we are meant to pursue.   Derek Siver’s book, “Anything you want” really speaks to this point.  He has an awesome filter, which I’ve started to adopt myself.  When presented with a choice, such as an event to attend, an item to purchase, or time to invest, he asks himself, “do I really want to do this?”  If his answer isn’t an enthusiastic  “Hell Yeah!,”  he declines the opportunity.

Those of us who are self employed have to be very cautious and prudent with our time.  It is a precious resource, along our financial resources, and our skills/talents.  It’s easy to say “yes” because we want everyone to like us and think of us often, but he who says “yes” to everyone pleases no one.

Think about these 4 questions and Derek Siver’s “filter” next time you are presented with an opportunity.  If it doesn’t fit within your priorities, just say no!

Discussion Points:

• Share an example of a time you overcommitted yourself.  How did it turn out?
• Share an example of a time you declined an opportunity because your plate was already full.  How did it turn out?
• We train others how to treat us, by how we respond to their requests.  If you answer every email or phone call within minutes of receipt, no matter what time of day or night they arrive, you let others know you are available at all times.  While this is great if you have no other distractions, obligations, or a need for a life, it can’t be sustained for long.  People want to know they can rely on you, so you need to be consistent in your availability.  If you answer immediately in one instance and days later in another, people never really know if or when they can count on you.  Has this situation occurred in your life?  If so, how did you handle it? 

Preston True, Executive Coach and Leadership Consultant

I thought it would be worthwhile to look at the steps involved in reaching goals, since some people may have abandoned their New Year’s Resolutions already. It’s never too late to set a meaningful goal, and with some focus you’ll still have time to achieve your goals this year. Business Coach, Preston True, shares his thoughts on the essentials of goal setting.

Preston, tell us a bit about your business and the type of coaching you provide to professionals

After 15 years of working with large and small organizations, I realized there really is no such thing as a business problem.  Instead, there are the challenges, roadblocks and disempowering contexts that humans bring into the workplace that disrupt profitability and organizational success.

I work with professional service providers and their teams (attorneys, CPAs, financial planners and creative firms) to create profitable businesses by helping them have more effective and powerful conversations.

How did you choose this group of people to work with?  What common challenges do they face? 

We chose one another.  I’ve found that many professional service providers have years of expertise and training in how to “do” their work, but struggle consistently to “be” effective leaders, communicators, and sales professionals – for most, these concepts were not part of the curriculum in law, accounting, IT or engineering schools.  Additionally, all of us have been highly trained in the industrial-age, production line mindset that has us design our daily operations on the “highest output for the lowest price” model where job descriptions and automation are king.  Unfortunately, this mindset decimates the two most important characteristics of business today: humanity and creativity.

What obstacles have you repeatedly encountered with your clients when it comes to goal setting and achieving goals?

Goal setting is a powerful support structure to the ongoing development of not only tangible results, but personal growth as well.  Results are almost guaranteed for clients who reliably and consistently set goals for themselves and their businesses.  However, the most common obstacle I see is actually in the goal setting itself.

It may sound crazy, but let’s go back to the production line mindset for a moment.  This mindset demands that revenue, profitability, time, units, and budget goals are paramount.  These examples of external or extrinsic goals are not bad, but if these are the only goals defined, many folks resort to taking shortcuts, cutting corners, sabotaging colleagues, overcharging customers, and doing unnecessary billable work – this is actually documented behavior (see “Drive” by Daniel Pink).  The bottom line: focusing solely on external goals frequently leads to unethical behavior.  This is NOT the way to effective leadership.  Just ask Ken Lay, Jeffrey Skilling, Bernie Madoff or Scott Rothstein.

Describe the process you coach your clients through so they can achieve their goals.  What are the essential steps?

Step 1 – Choose not more than four goals to manage at any given time.  It’s too easy to move on to “the next goal” when we bump up against the challenges in reaching our important goals.  By limiting the number of goals to four or fewer, you will be more focused on and accountable for results.

Step 2 – Understand why you want to produce the goals you say you want to produce.  Without distinguishing intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, you will fall away from your goals very quickly.

Step 3 – Write out your goal plan.  This is a must!  Goals which remain only in your mind are nothing more than wishes. I recommend using a 5-year and 12-month plan that distinguishes domains (or categories) within each goal, as most goals have several components to them.

Step 4 – Create a structure for existence regarding the actions to take.  If you don’t establish specific times in your calendar to take action on your goals, you will not meet them.  In a culture that seems to value busy-ness over accomplishment, your calendar is your best friend in fulfilling on your goals.

Step 5 – Create an accountability structure.  Hire a coach, enroll a colleague, or simply ask a friend to keep you accountable to taking regular action on your goals.  Don’t underestimate accountability… it actually creates amazing freedom.

What are some of the common misconceptions about coaching? 

I still have folks ask me if I’m a soccer coach.  Coaching has been around a very long time; it’s not the “new” thing that many see it to be, but a derivative of consulting that focuses on asking powerful questions of the client rather than having the answers.

Although the coaching industry is full of “the next new trend”, most are just a revised version of something that’s already in existence.  Coaching works because of several ancient ideas: (a) partnership, (b) accountability, and (c) communication.  Not very trendy… just stable fundamentals at work.

How can people benefit from having a coach?

We cannot see our blind spots or saboteurs.  A coach is an objective partner who’s trained to listen at a level most people will never attain.  Through this listening, powerful and moving questions are asked of the client which translates to greater awareness of behaviors and beliefs.  With greater awareness, new choices come to the surface.  When new choices come to the surface, new actions are taken.  When new actions are taken, new results happen.  Coaching is one of the most reliable and powerful support structures you can find for producing bigger results.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

Preston True is a leadership development consultant and executive coach in Royal Oak, Michigan. He works with professional service providers and their teams helping them create powerful and profitable businesses. Companies such as Mellon Smith Pivoz, Macroconnect, T-Systems and the Wm. Wrigley Jr. Company benefit from their powerful leadership development experiences with Preston. Learn more at  http://www.trueleadershipLLC.com.

I noticed a behavior pattern of mine recently that you may be able to relate to.  I’m good at managing and taking action on the urgent emails and matters I need to be doing now or later today, but I struggle with managing the flow of information I don’t need to be reading or doing now.  I’m referring to information I’d like to read at some point or action items I’d like to do at some point, but which are by no means urgent.  My “save it for later” mentality was causing my email inbox to become unmanageable (10,000 emails and growing).  I was able to clear out my email box and set myself up for future successful email management, by creating some new habits.

Here are 3 tips I’ve recently implemented which help manage my email overload and ultimately increase productivity:

1)       Create a “not reading now” folder

This folder is designed for the e-newsletters, daily news digests, and other lengthy material you want to read . . . at a later date.  I generally have one day a week where I can block out some time for reading and can quickly scan my ‘not reading now’ folder and actually read the articles that interest me and delete the rest. While some people might want to create a rule in their outlook program to have items automatically put in this folder, I like to self select what goes in there so I don’t miss anything that is important and urgent.

Having a flow of new information helps me with my own creativity as a weekly blogger, and as a consultant to professionals on how to grow their practice.  I carve out creative time, just as I carve out time to read, but neither of those activities work in the midst of deadlines, client emergencies, or other important matters or distractions.  Having a folder to move the information to allows me to focus on the urgent, without losing this other information.

2)      Create a social media invitation/event invitation folder

Lately, I’ve been receiving daily invitations from people I’ve never met or even heard of, but who are connected to other people I do know, who send me LinkedIn invitations with the category of “friend” as our level of association.  I also receive friend invitations on Facebook regularly from people I’ve never met or heard of.  To me, “friend”, in the social media world, means I’ve actually met or had a conversation with someone.  They aren’t my “friend” simply because they know someone I know.  I generally like to respond to these invitations with a standard email on Facebook or LinkedIn inviting them to have a conversation with me to determine if we have any business synergy. 9 out of 10 people don’t even respond to that offer, which tells me that they are contact collectors and not relationship focused.

Since it takes time to send the email reply to their invitation, and time to track whether or not they responded to my suggestion to schedule a call, and then time to coordinate the call, I created an email folder of those LinkedIn and Facebook invitations to keep track of it all.  That way I can respond when I have time to do so, and don’t have to clutter my inbox.

Another folder could be created for event invitations you receive, but aren’t sure you want to attend just now.  If you know you aren’t interested in the event invitation or social media connection invitation, it is easy to delete it, but those you might want to respond to later will easily get lost and forgotten in the barrage of email unless you have a folder to keep track of it. You may want to schedule a calendar occurrence to check that folder periodically, or keep it as a favorites folder in outlook so you’ll see it and tend to it in a timely manner.

3)      Create a “non-urgent meetings/phone calls to schedule” folder

If you are like me, you are introduced to people via email that other people think you should meet.  We all want to expand our networks with quality contacts.  Sometimes these email introductions arrive when you are swamped and can’t respond to them right away, or perhaps you have no idea why the person introducing you thought you should know this other person.  Are they a potential client in need of your services? Are they a potential referral source?  Are you a target for a product/service they want to sell?  I generally like to know why I’m being introduced and encourage the person doing the introducing to provide some context so I can act accordingly.  I may send them a private email asking for this.

Generally, I reply to these introduction emails the same day, within a few minutes of receiving them usually, thanking the introducer and proposing to the other person that we schedule a time to talk by phone, and learn more about one another.  This is generally a 15 to 20 minute call to find out if there’s any business synergy and if it makes sense for us to meet.  I have standard list of questions I may want to ask them, as well as potential follow up actions I could take based on their interest and fit for my services.  My menu of talking points helps me to make this short call very productive, and based on their responses, I know whether or not it makes sense to meet with this person.  However, before we get to the phone call or the meeting, we have to manage whether or not that person replies to the introductory email from our mutual friend.  I keep track of these introductions in my   ‘non-urgent meetings/phone calls to schedule’ folder, until we’ve reached the scheduled phone call or meeting phase.

Why is follow-up so important?

For me, it’s the differentiator between the serious business person who I might be able to build a relationship with, and the casual networker on a fishing expedition.  I’m not a “high volume” networker.  Although I’ve grown a sizeable network over time, I don’t want to add people for the sake of numbers, but I am always interested in more quality relationships.

If someone can’t even bother to reply to an email introducing two people with potential business synergy, that tells me they either don’t value the relationship they have with the person that introduced us, or they aren’t good at follow up.  In either case, they probably aren’t going to be a good contact for me because relationships and follow up are critical in my book!

Points to ponder and share:

What is your favorite tip for managing email overload?

What will you do differently as a result of the tips suggested in this blog?

As the year comes to a close, you may be tempted to make your 2012 New Year’s Resolution List.  I’ve always been more in favor of setting and planning to achieve goals, rather than making resolutions.  Click here to read my thoughts on this subject last year, along with some great quotes on goal setting.

A resolution is defined as: a formal expression of opinion, will, or intent voted by an official body or assembled group.

A goal is defined as: the end toward which effort is directed.

As defined above, both goals and resolutions seem to have merit.  Declaring our intention is one thing.  Yet, we all know that in practice resolutions are often forgotten the next day (especially New Year’s resolutions), and goals can be set and reset without consequence.  Critical components of success in goals or resolutions include commitment and accountability to oneself and/or to others to stay on course as intended.

David Benjamin wrote an article recently called Don’t be a resolutionist!  I echo David’s sentiments and think he outlines a good road map to follow if you are serious about setting and achieving goals in 2012. I especially like his idea of continually referring back to the plan and making adjustments as needed to bring about the desired result. It’s too easy to simply write down a goal and stuff it in a drawer where it never sees the light of day. Not only will goals be forgotten if not regularly reviewed, they will likely not be achieved without careful analysis and adjustment, as needed.  There’s nothing wrong with course corrections. Better to adjust your goals along the way as life’s reality conflicts with your vision, than to abandon your goals entirely.

Remember what the Beatles said, “Life is what happens while you’re making plans.” Don’t give up when adversity strikes, adjust your plan and continue on the road to success.

May your 2012 be filled with possibility and prosperity! Happy New Year!

It seems to be more difficult each day to keep up with the flow of information.  Often I just tune it out, or selectively read what interests me the most.  This time of year we have an over abundance of sales ads to delete from our inbox, along with the usual flow of information.  If you are feeling like “less is more” and you want to unplug for awhile to regain your sanity, you might find these time management tips helpful.

http://ourmastermindsgroup.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/information-overload1.jpg

Sam Parker, Publisher of JustSell.com and Co-Founder of GiveMore Media, sent me a newsletter recently in which he shared some tips on how he manages the distractions in his life.  The following tips are Sam’s time management “affirmations”:

Focus hours… Twice each work day, I will hold focus hours. From 9 am – 11 am and from 2 pm – 4 pm, I will become unavailable to anything but true emergencies. My phones will be off to anything inbound (no calls, no texts… airport mode on my cell). It’s only two 2-hour blocks of time where I’m unavailable to others. When I think I can’t do it and that people need to reach me because I’m so very important, I’ll remember that I’m not as important as I think I am. If I happen to notice on caller ID that someone’s calling me who I’ve been having a hard time reaching, of course I’ll make an exception.

Email… I will turn off email alerts and check it only twice a day (11:30 and 4:30). When I think that’s impossible because people need to reach me because I’m so very important, I’ll remember that I’m not as important as I think I am. (See below for letting people know how to get to you.)

Instant messaging… I will not do it. This would be like allowing someone to jump up on my desk anytime they want and interrupt my workflow (and I certainly don’t want to do that to anyone else). After all, I’m a grown-up.

Web… I will not use the web personally during my money hours (mine are between 8 am and 6 pm each salesday with a break for lunch). When this gets tough because of my addiction to distraction, I’ll remind myself again that I’m a grown-up.

Phone… I will not give my attention to my iPhone when people I know are around me. If it vibrates (a ringtone? please) when I’m in a face-to-face conversation I will do my best to ignore it and give it attention when I’m alone. Fortunately, when I’m in an airport, I generally don’t know a lot of people so I can dig into my phone all I want there (although I might miss out on some of those serendipitous moments I’ve had in the past where I’ve met some very interesting people and learned new things… hmmmm).

Proximity… I will turn my desk facing away from my door.

Television… I will not channel surf. If I want to watch something, I will watch that thing and that’s it. If I need downtime, I’ll read a book or something on the web (being careful here too, of course).

Commitment: When things get tough, I’ll remind myself that I want to succeed professionally, financially, and personally (better relationships, better knowledge). And, if I do these things, I’ll likely contribute more, make more useful things happen, earn more, and enjoy more as a result. (It’s a better bet.) When I make a mistake (break focus hours, check my email, look at the web, etc.), I’ll stop, re-commit, and remind myself I want to make good things happen (rather than living in a state of busy distraction and making less money).

Sam cautions that before you adopt such changes, that you make sure these tips fit your type of business and workflow. If your work really requires more attention to email or a phone, then adjust accordingly.  He also recommends that as you make these commitments, let others know (via your email auto responder, or below your email signature, and/or in a voicemail message) when they can expect a response from you.

Points to Ponder and Share:

What has worked best for you in terms of limiting the amount of distractions you encounter daily?

]]> http://www.bestlegalresource.com/how-are-you-handling-information-overload/feed 1